


Meet Me In The Pouring Rain

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-10 23:56:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4412936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leo McCoy has loved Jocelyn Darnell his whole life. Even a betrayal of the worst kind couldn’t stop him from loving her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. Um, this is my first work ever, so please tell me what you thought of it.  
> This fic actually was supposed to be a McKirk, but it spiralled out of control and ended up being Jocelyn and Leo.

Meet Me in the Pouring Rain

~ Christmas 2251

Leo slammed the door behind him angrily as his mother yelled some nonsense about relationships at his retreating back.

“Stupid old hag.” He muttered as he jumped down the porch steps and looked up at the clouded sky.

He had only been back two days, and his mother was already bugging him about getting a girlfriend. Between med-school, three side jobs and a litany of idiotic friends getting into trouble, he didn’t have time for dating. Maybe he would have been able to have more of a dating life if his mother didn’t insist he come back home to dreary old Savannah, where everyone knew everyone, for the holidays.

Lost in his internal ramblings of annoyance at the situation, he barely noticed where he was going. By the time he looked up, he realised he had walked to the stables behind the house. Feeling a little bit better at the sight of his horse, he approached her.

“Hey Lassie, how are you today?” Leo crooned in his soft drawl at the chestnut coloured mare. In reply, he got an annoyed whinny.

Leo ran a soothing hand down the horse’s back, and set about feeding her. As he fetched a pail of oats from the back of the stable, he began to ramble to his horse, who had been a constant in his life from when they were both young.

“Honestly, Lassie, you’re much luckier than me. You’re not a working horse, you don’t need to find a mate and breed with them, and you don’t need to worry about an overbearing family. I mean, if I want to focus on getting my degree before I turn 25 instead of going to quote find myself a nice southern belle to settle down with unquote, what’s it to her? If she wants grandchildren, he’s just gotta suck it up and wait. This is my life, Lassie, not hers.”

A dainty giggle came from the doorway.

“I see that Eleanora’s Christmas present was a lecture on love.” Jocelyn Darnell, his best friend and unrequited crush was leaning against the wood structure relaxedly with a smirk on her face. Leo’s breath caught on the way the dim lighting in the barn highlighted the sharp cheekbones and chocolate brown hair of the girl.

Leo had to admit, she was mostly the reason why he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend anytime soon. Jocelyn and Leo had grown up together, had braved through the hell that the government called school, and had stuck together until university. They had parted when Leo decided to go into medical school, and Jocelyn went on to further her career in interior design.

 Jocelyn, at some point in his life, had become the object of his affections, but would never reciprocate them. Clay Treadway had made that fact painfully clear at their high school graduation when he pulled Jocelyn in for a kiss. What made everything worse, was that Clay was a genuinely nice person, and was extremely difficult to hate. Since it had been roughly 6 years since his hopes were crushed, and Clay and Jocelyn remained in a steady relationship for that long, Leo had decided that he would remain a bachelor for the rest of his life.

Jocelyn smiled and walked over to Leo, grabbed the pail in his hands and proceeded to situate herself in front of Lassie, the best place to feed her from.

“Merry Christmas to you too.” Leo replied gruffly.

He walked over to Lassie and Jocelyn, and began to feed the horse with the oats still in Jocelyn’s hands.

“How’s your life been?” Leo queried.

With a suddenly melancholy look in her eyes, Jocelyn shrugged.

“Clay and I broke up last month. “

Hope and hurt rose simultaneously in Leo. Hope, for then perhaps he would have a chance with the beautiful girl. Hurt, that she hadn’t told him at the time, that he wasn’t there for her when she went through the break up, and that she apparently didn’t care to enlighten him of the situation.

“You didn’t tell me!” He cried.

At that, Jocelyn looked up from feeding Lassie. She glanced at Leo with an unusual nervousness.

“I wanted to tell you in person.”

At the unusual statement, Leo frowned. He didn’t understand why she would have wanted to break the news face to face, unless there was also something else she wanted to tell him. Perhaps she was pregnant, which would be a legal nightmare, not to mention emotionally devastating for himself. If she indeed was carrying Clay’s child, she would probably have to remain in contact with the bastard.

Jocelyn saw the look on Leo’s face, and laughed.

“I know what you’re thinking Leo. I’m not pregnant. I just,” At this, she hesitated. Taking a deep breath, she continued. “Clay broke up with me because I’m in love with you.”

Leo nearly stopped breathing when he heard what Jocelyn had said. She was in love with him? Had he heard right?

Jocelyn looked at Leo again, and stepped forward slowly. Looking him straight in the eye, she reached out to cup his face in her soft hands.

“Tell me you don’t love me too. I’ll walk away.” She whispered.

Heart racing, Leo leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. They moved together, fluid, and gentle. Jocelyn ran her fingers through Leo’s short hair, and pulled him closer. Overwhelmed, Leo pulled back.

“Why me, though?” He questioned. Jocelyn smiled fondly at him, and kissed him briefly.

“What’s not to love? You’re kind, compassionate, intelligent, and most of all, you care. You’re one of the most empathetic people I know. It’s why being a doctor is perfect for you. Your natural instinct is to help people, and I love you for it.”

Leo blushed. He had never been one to take compliments, and quite frankly, was not the most confident of people when he wasn’t completely sure of what he was doing.

“Thank you, Joce.” He whispered into her hair, as they held each other, looking out at the rain that had started to fall when they were otherwise occupied.

 

 

~ October 2252

Leo ran from his hovercar, holding his coat over his head to shield him from the rain pouring down on him. He had emerged from the General Hospital of Atlanta after an 11 hour shift, just to see the rain pelting the street. Across the street, his destination shone brightly, mocking him with it’s warmth and dryness.

As he approached the doorway of the restaurant, he looked up at the large sign showing of the shining name; Clara. Reviews of the restaurant had said that it was the best restaurant for a romantic date, and quite honestly, he could see why. The whole place had a soft glow to it, an atmosphere of love, and joy. He ducked into the building, and approached the maître d’. The man smiled, and welcomed him to the restaurant.

“Good Evening, Sir. Do you have a reservation?”

Leo cleared his throat nervously, and stammered. “Uh. Yes, I have a reservation for two under the name McCoy.”

The maître d’ smiled graciously, and led him to his table, where he waited for Jocelyn to arrive. Leo palmed the small box in his pocket anxiously, hoping that all would go well for him tonight. He had been planning this night for some time, so when Jocelyn had commed him earlier to say that she would be a little late because of complications at work, he had been worried.

Leo shook his head to dispel all negative thoughts, and looked towards the doorway for any sign of Jocelyn. Soon after, the door opened to a beautiful sight. Jocelyn Darnell, in all her beauty, was wearing a stunning backless black dress that highlighted all her curves in just the right ways. As she caught sight of Leo and started to walk towards their table, he saw many a man and woman stare at her in awe. It was obvious of her beauty, and a wave of jealousy rose in Leo. Nobody was allowed to look at Joce like that but him. Jocelyn neared the table, and instinctively, he rose out of his seat and pulled hers out for her.

“Why thank you, Leo.” Jocelyn smiled.

Leo smiled back at her adoringly. She merely smirked when she saw the expression on his face.

“Babe, I know you love me, but I’d really like to eat now.” Jocelyn quirked her lips into a grin as she perused the menu.

Leo shook himself out of his love struck stupor, and blushed. He raised his hand to signal for a waiter, who proceeded to take their orders. As they waited for their food to arrive, Jocelyn raised her head to take in the surroundings.

“Wow Leo, candlelit dinners. You sure know how to charm a girl.” She remarked.

“What can I say, I’m a romantic at heart.”

“Sure you are.” Joce replied sarcastically. “You deliberately picked a restaurant you knew I had been wanting to try, even though you think it’s clichéd. You’re too good to me Leo.”

At that, the man in question ducked his head, and blushed even more furiously than before. He had only been trying to make the night the perfect for Jocelyn. He raised his head, and said as much to his girlfriend.

The waiter returned with plates filled with their respective orders; mushroom and black truffle soup for Leo, and spaghetti carbonara for Jocelyn. Seeing the food, they both tucked into their meals heartily, informing each other of the events of their day between bites. When they had both finished eating, Leo smoothed a hand over the lapels of his blazer and took a deep breath. While Jocelyn glanced out the window at the rain, Leo reached into his pocket and pulled out the box with the engagement ring in it. Now or never, Leo, Now or never.

Leo abruptly stood up out of his chair, and sank down onto one knee in front of their table, facing Jocelyn. She gasped, and held a hand to her mouth.

“Jocelyn Marie Darnell, you are the light of my life. You’ve stuck with me since the first day of kindergarten, when I was scared out of my mind at the prospect of starting school and I threw up all over the playground. You stood by me when Isaac Ellis punched me for caring about the dog with a broken leg we found on the roadside. You stayed when everyone accused me of murdering my father. Now, I ask of you. Will you be with me forever, until death do us part? Will you marry me?”

Jocelyn had tears streaming down her face, and Leo was seriously reconsidering this. Did she hate him for making a public scene? He remained on his knee, awaiting an answer.

Through her tears, Jocelyn nodded.

“Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.” She sobbed through her tears.

“Why are you crying, babe?” Leo asked cautiously, although he was over the moon about her answer.

Jocelyn laughed, and tugged him up of his knee and took his hand.

“I’m crying because I’m happy, and I love you, you great big sap. Now aren’t you going to put that shiny diamond on my finger?”

Leo leaned down to kiss her lips gently, and pulled back. He lifted the ring out of the box gently and slid it onto Jocelyn’s ring finger. He pulled her up by the hand, and dragged her out of her seat, his other hand reaching for the bill.

“Come on, let’s go home and celebrate.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her, and she laughed wholeheartedly at his antics as they walked out of the restaurant into the pouring rain.

~January 2255

Jocelyn inhaled sharply again, and took several heaving breaths. She looked down at her swollen belly, and lifted her shaking hand to place it over the bulge.

“Hey, baby girl. I hope you come out safely for mommy. You’re a feisty one. I can tell.” She sighed, then glanced at the chrono to check how long she had been in labour for. Three hours so far. Jocelyn turned her head to look out the window at the light sprinkling of rain that had started. She was starting to get a little frustrated at her husband, who had yet to arrive. When her contractions had first started, she immediately called Leo, just as he had instructed. He had been in surgery, so she left a message for him with one of the nurses. When Jocelyn proceeded to call an ambulance, they had escorted her to a hospital. The doctors in the emergency room transferred her to the maternity ward, where she had stripped down and changed into a hospital gown. Unknowingly, she had left her communicator back at home, and had also forgotten to inform Leo of her location.

Leo sighed, as he exited the third hospital of the night. After he got out of surgery, he had received Jocelyn’s message about their baby. He had responded with a message that he’d be there as soon as he could. What he hadn’t realised, is that Jocelyn had been brought to a different hospital. He had repeatedly tried to comm his wife, but to no avail. She didn’t pick up. Leo got into his hovercar, and input the fastest route to the last hospital in the area. As his car sped along the roads, Leo let himself fantasise. What would it be like to finally hold his baby girl, to see small eyes looking up at him in wonder? The thought of the child’s eyes had him wondering whether she would have the classic McCoy hazel eyes, or Jocelyn’s deep amber coloured eyes. He chuckled at himself, and shook his head. No matter what she looked like, Leo would love her.

Leo’s hovercar came to a stop outside the Royal Hospital of Atlanta. He climbed out of the car and ran to the front entrance. As he approached the font counter, the young nurse sat their looked up.

“Hello, this is the Royal Hospital of Atlanta, how may I help you?” She drawled in a bored tone.

Anxious to see his wife and as of yet unborn child, his words were rushed. “Is there a Jocelyn McCoy here? She was in labour when she last contacted me.”

“Ah, yes. Jocelyn McCoy was admitted to room 301C a few hours ago, under observation. She has been in labour for approximately 3 hours…..”The receptionist droned on, but McCoy ignored her.

Leo turned around to look at the directory. The maternity ward was on the third floor, rooms 301 to 382. He spotted the turbolift at the end of the corridor and ran hurriedly towards it. He pressed the up button, and luckily, the doors opened almost instantly. Leo walked into the lift, and found the button for the third floor. He steeled himself, anticipating the unsteady and nauseous feeling the lift gave him when it sped up. Leo’s head spun, and he vaguely noticed a faint ding signalling the end of the short trip. The doors slid open, and Leo stepped out, the clinical and sterilised smell grounding him.

A sign pointed to the left told Leo that rooms 301 to 340 were in that direction. He turned to the left, and a cursory glance told him that room 301 was at the end of the hall. Trying not to run, Leo walked quickly to the rooms at the end of the corridor. He spotted the room his wife was in, and opened the door.

Jocelyn looked up when Leo entered the room, and she attempted to morph her face into a smile despite the constant pain erupting from her uterus.

Leo easily saw through the façade as a result of being around moronic patients who loved to self-diagnose. “Sugar, what’s wrong?” he asked warily.

At that, his wife snorted. “I’m just getting my contractions.”

Smiling through sparkling eyes, Leo reached out to clasp Jocelyn’s hand. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner. I was in surgery.”

Jocelyn waved a hand, dismissing his apology. “It’s ok. I forgot to tell you which hospital I was at, and I left my comm at home by accident.” She explained, knowing that her husband had probably tried to contact her multiple times once he had received her message. He was sort of overbearing like that.

Suddenly, Jocelyn gasped in pain. There was a flare of fire in her groin area, and suddenly she was bleeding.

When Leo spotted the blood, he knew what was happening. Jocelyn could potentially lose their child. He slammed on the call button for the doctor in the next room, and began to ask Jocelyn to catalogue her pain.

“Baby, what’s the pain on a scale of 1 to 10? Where exactly is the pain?”

Jocelyn gasped, and just shook her head, unable to speak. The pain was overwhelming, and it came over her like a tide on a sea shore. She looked down, and saw blood all over her front. Head swimming, everything went dark.

While the doctors came in, Leo pushed down lightly on a lever of the bio-bed his wife was on, and the bed shifted slowly from a reclining position to lay flat so that the doctors would have better access. He stood back, and watched them bring in an array of tools for an emergency caesarean section. Leo couldn’t do anything to help the surgery, as he wasn’t a doctor at the hospital they were in, and the doctors currently operating on his wife had more experience with pregnancies. He exited the room, allowing them to work in peace.

Leaning his head on the wall outside his wife’s room, Leo took several deep breaths, and clenched his fists tightly. He knew the enormity of the situation, that he could lose either his child or his wife, or even both in the worst case scenario. Try as he might, but he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if Jocelyn didn’t make it. She was the one person who saw who he really was, and if she died, Leo would surely become someone he definitely would not want to be. Eyes blurring with tears of desperation, Leonard McCoy sank down to the ground and curled into a foetal position, barely holding himself together.

Jocelyn blinked, and instinctively reached down to check on her baby. Alarmed when her hand missed where her baby bump usually was, Jocelyn sat up. Looking down, she cried out in alarm when she saw and felt nothing in her abdomen. She looked around the room for clues that might tell her where she was, and what happened to her baby. Her eyes fell on her husband sitting at her side, dozing softly. She touched his shoulder lightly, and he jerked awake.

Leonard opened his eyes, and saw his wife sitting up. An empty and hollow feeling settled in him as he was once again reminded by his brain that his child was gone.

“Hey Joce. You should be resting.” He whispered.

Jocelyn looked at him with wide eyes, and opened her mouth and closed it several times.

“Where’s my baby?” She queried in a voice that made her seem small.

Just shaking his head, Leo looked at his wife brokenly.

“She’s gone.” His voice cracked. “There was a complication with the umbilical cord, and...” Leo’s voiced trailed off.

“They couldn’t save her.” Jocelyn finished for him.

Looking at each other, the broken couple just held on to each other, and silently promised to never let go.

~June 2255

“What the fuck are you doing?” Leo shouted.

He had just come home after a 36 hour shift to find Clay Treadway and Jocelyn, for lack of a better word, fucking.

Leo admitted, perhaps after he death of their child, Jocelyn had been distant, and wouldn’t touch him. He should have tried harder to communicate with Jocelyn, should have talked about the distance between them. Except he was dealing with his own grief. He had thrown himself into his work at the hospital, and had begun to take longer and longer shifts. The loss of his little girl had made Leo see so clearly the fragility of life. That was why he worked even harder, because maybe he could save someone else’s little girl, so they wouldn’t have to go through the pain and heartbreak. He just didn’t account for the fact that Jocelyn was heartbroken too.

He may take the blame for the failure of their relationship, but he couldn’t understand why she had to go to Clay Treadway, of all people. They had dated before Leo and Jocelyn got together, but Jocelyn was the one who broke it off with Clay. It just didn’t make sense. Unless, he just wasn’t enough. Maybe he had never been enough. Leo began to panic, thinking back to all the ways he hadn’t been a good enough partner for his wife, even before his little girl died.

At Leo’s words, Clay started. He scrambled for a sheet to cover himself and Jocelyn with, but to no avail. Jocelyn managed to find a shirt, and covered her chest. At that, Leo stared incredulously at her.  They had been together for years, and she was self-conscious now?

“Leo,” Jocelyn started to explain.

“No, I don’t want to hear it.” Leo shook his head, and started to pack a bag. Jocelyn clearly didn’t love him anymore, she already had another man.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” She whispered softly, sounding melancholy.

Leo was furious. What right did she have to be sad about this when she was the one who was doing this to him? He turned his head to look at her, his hurt, anger and complete and utter devastation showing on his face.

The room was silent, and the pattering of rain could be heard outside.

Clay sat awkwardly on the side of the bed, _Leo’s bed_ , and watched the proceedings with a carefully blank face.

Addressing the man in question, Leo looked at him. “Take care of her. Don’t let her hurt you.”

With his most important belongings packed up in a bag, Leo walked towards the door. He finally addressed Jocelyn.

“I’d like to divorce. You can take the house, the car, everything.”

Leo turned, walked out the door slowly into the rain, and made his way to the nearest motel with his head down. He went through the motions mechanically, and took a room for a week. As he walked to the turbolift, the last half-hour played in his head again, and again. He shook his head in despair, and managed to fish out his communicator. He dialled the number at his mother’s old house in Savannah, and waited.

“Leo?” His mother picked up the call.

“Hey, ma. Joce and I, uh, we’re getting a divorce.”

“What? Honey, what happened? Do you need me to come over to Atlanta?”

“No, uh. I caught Joce with Clay. In bed.” Leo’s voice broke slightly, and he sighed.

“Oh, sweetie. Come over to the old house.”

“No, ma. I need to sort out some things here, then I’ll head west.”

“West? Why?”

“Before I got home, there was an offer from Starfleet for me to become a Cadet, and work in the clinic there. I can’t stay here, and well, I’m hoping Starfleet will take me as far away from here as it can.”

“Leo, honey. Running isn’t always the wisest decision.”

“I know, ma, but I have to.”

Eleanora sighed. “Alright, baby. If you need to, then go. Keep in touch though. I wish you would let me come over.”

“Ma, please don’t.” He couldn’t handle having his mother there, seeing him in the mess that had become his life.

“Ok. Call if you need me though.” The call cut off with a beep.

Leo ran his hands through his hair. Talking with his mother had helped, if only a little. He stood, and approached the small fridge in the corner of the dingy motel room. He opened the door in hopes of finding some alcohol, and he had hit the jackpot. Well, thank god for small favours, right? He pulled out the bottle of Andorian whiskey, and opened the bottle. Leo took a swig straight from the bottle, and winced as the liquid burned down his throat. He took another mouthful of the drink, and kept drinking. The alcohol numbed the constant ache of betrayal in his chest, the sharp pain of not being enough whenever he thought about what happened. No, being sober was not worth the pain.

~ January 2262

Leo sighed, and looked down at his comm. Jocelyn had sent a message to him saying that she and Clay had broken up, and that she wanted to explain properly. After seven years in Starfleet, he had begun to feel more attached to the organisation, and decided to even go up into space for a three year mission. Of course, he didn’t sign up for a starship because of the constant fear he had of dying in a spacecraft. No, he had requested to be posted on a Starfleet outpost on Mars, which he quickly became Chief Medical Officer of, so that he could still contact his family. The years away from Jocelyn had dulled the pain, and Leo knew that maybe, if he visited Georgia, he would get a more clear explanation than “I’m sorry.”

Over the several days he had left on Mars before his mission ended, he took the time to reach a decision on whether he would speak to his ex. Sure, things had ended badly, but it had been seven years. Maybe they could get over their differences and perhaps be friends again, at the least. At the end of mission party that the outpost’s inhabitants threw for everyone who would be leaving, Leo pulled out his comm to reply that he would be visiting Georgia soon, including his travel details, and that they should set a time and date to meet. When he had pressed send, he had felt like a teenager again, wondering whether Joce would like him.

A hand on his shoulder made him look up.

“Hiya Leo.” Greeted one of his fellow doctors, Phillip Boyce.

“Hey, Phil.” He replied.

“So, what are you gonna do once we’re back on Earth? Are you going to come back out here?”

Leo shrugged, as he honestly had no clue. “I’m not sure yet. I’m going to go back home to Georgia for a while before I make a decision.”

Nodding, Phil clapped a hand on Leo’s back. “Alright then, I’m going to go get a drink.”

The first thing Leo noticed when he stepped off the transporter pad the next morning was that the air smelt fresher. Then, he proceeded to vomit out his guts off the side of the pad, because transporter pads always made Leo sick, no matter how used to it he was.

His next order of business was to comm his mother to inform her of his arrival in Atlanta. After establishing that she would come pick him up from the transporter facility.

As he waited for his mother, he sat in the waiting room near the front of the building. Lightly tossing his bag down on the ground beside him, he leaned his head in his hands, fighting off the residual nausea. A cry of his name made him raise his head and look up.

“Leo, baby, let me look at you!” His mother had already arrived.

Standing to give his mother a hug, he opened his arms. “Hey Ma. I've missed you.”

Leo meant it. His mother was one of the people who stood by him when the hospital brought him under observation because they thought he had tampered with his dying father’s morphine drip to deliver a fatal dose. In fact, it had not been Leo, but rather, his father himself. David McCoy, in his last days, had been in immense pain. When the pain had been too much to bear, Leo was asked by his daddy to essentially, murder him. The following days, Leo had been warring between just ending the pain, or leaving his father alive, but only a shadow of the man he once was. Instead of waiting for Leo to decide, David decided to use his remaining energy to reach his morphine drip and input an excessive amount for the next automatic dose. In the aftermath, Leo and his mother had spent more time together, both mourning the loss of a great man.

Eleanora patting his back brought Leo out of his reverie. He withdrew from the embrace, and followed his mother out to where she had parked her hovercar. They climbed into the vehicle, the older woman at the wheel. The drive back to Eleanora’s house was spent catching up on the happenings of their lives. Leo informed his mother of the developments made at the research outpost he had been on, and in turn, Eleanora filled in her son on the local gossip, whether they had any new neighbours and the like. Both of them avidly avoided mention of both Jocelyn and Clay.

Knowing the topic would be breached sooner or later, Leo started.

“Ma. Uh, I'm nots sure if you know, but Clay and Jocelyn broke up.”

Saying it out loud had given Leo a strange feeling of finality of the words.

“Oh, Leo. We all knew. I just wasn't sure Jocelyn told you so I didn't mention it.”

Leo flushed at the thought that Jocelyn had chosen to inform him personally.

“Yeah. She wants to talk to me soon.”

 Leo was still waiting for a reply from his ex wife. To be quite honest, he had been checking his comm every few minutes, like a child waiting for Christmas.His comm chirped, signalling a new message. Leo looked down to see who it was from.

“Speak of the devil.”

He swiped at the device to view the message. Jocelyn had replied with a friendly welcome back message, and an apology for not replying sooner. Underneath, she had tentatively suggested that if he wasn't too tired, maybe he could visit Jocelyn at their old house where she was still living.

Hastily replying in the affirmative, Leo’s insides were a jumble of nerves. Sensing his discomfort, Eleanora spoke up.

“Would you like me to drop you off there?”

Leo blushed, knowing that his mother had read his messages over his shoulder. As they had already arrived at his mothers house, the point was moot.

“No, I wouldn't want to trouble you. I'll just drop my things in my room and head over there myself.”

Eleanora hummed in the affirmative as she opened the car door. Leo followed suit, tromping up the porch steps to the old farmhouse with architecture reminiscent of the 20th century. He opened the front door for his mother, and shut the door behind him when they had both entered the house. Although the house looked old, and the interior was similar, the building had all the latest technological improvements.

As Eleanora walked to the kitchen to start preparing lunch, Leo took his bags to his childhood room. Dropping a bag on the floor, Leo looked around his room. Nothing about it had changed much, except that the bedsheets were new. His gaze landed on a framed holo on his bedside table. The image was of him and Jocelyn at their high school graduation, arms around each other happily. His heart clenched at the sight, mourning the loss of his best friend. He now realised that when he and Joce parted, he hadn't only lost a wife, but also the most important relationship he had ever had apart from with his parents.

His resolve to talk to Jocelyn strengthened, he would try to regain her friendship, even if she didn't love him anymore. He had never had any reason to doubt their friendship, so there would be a chance for him to repair that relationship.

Having settled his things into his room, he walked back to the kitchen to inform his mother when he would be back.

“Ma, I'm going over to Joce’s. I'll be back around one or midday.” He kissed her cheek in farewell, and walked out the door. As driving to Savannah would only take around half an hour due to improvements in technology, Leo spent the short drive pondering the reasons behind Joce’s wish to speak so soon.

The most likely reason was that she wanted them to reconcile. Leo thought, for a moment, about what that would be like. They would have their old friendship back, sarcastic banter, occasional philosophical conversations, musing about the intricacies of life. Leo ached for what had been lost, amidst too soon relationships and the shit life threw at them.

As he pulled into the garage of his old home, Leo noticed the differences. His old football gear was no longer sitting in the corner, the shelves were all new, his box set of 3D chess had disappeared, and the place contained a shiny new red hovercar. Leo had been erased from Joce’s life, and he could understand that. He himself had gotten rid of his wedding photos, shirts and shoes bought for him that had been sent to his mother. No matter the past, there was hope for the future. They could rebuild their lives with each other included.

Pulling the key out of the ignition, Leo opened the door of his hovercar and stepped into the small garage. He walked through the side door that led into the house to avoid going out into the rain, and started seeking out his ex wife. Her regular haunts had always been places with windows, so she would be able to see the sky. Mentally running through a list of rooms with large windows in the house, Leo visited the closest one, the reading room. He poked his head in the doorway briefly, and continued to enter the room when he saw Jocelyn curled up sleeping in her armchair by the window.

He gently shook her shoulders, and pulled back abruptly as she flinched and opened her eyes.

“Hey, Joce.” He whispered as her gaze raked across the whole room and landed on him.

“Wha-Oh, Leo. Sorry, I fell asleep for a while.” She explained.

“It’s alright. I imagine you’ve had a tough time.” Leo replied, referring to her recent break-up with Clay. He wasn’t heartless, and he could understand the pain of separation.

Jocelyn gave a small smile, and looked into her lap.

“I suppose you’ll want to know why you’re here.”

“Well, yeah. If you’d care to enlighten me.”

“Alright. You know that Clay and I broke up. Uh, I’ll suppose I’ll start there. The day it happened, I found out that Joanna was his.”

A flash of ice ran through Leo’s veins. Joanna… His baby girl… Wasn’t his? That would mean…

“You were sleeping with him even then?” Leo cried in outrage.

“Well. Yes. And I’m sorry for it. You may not forgive me still, but it’s the truth. I made mistakes.” Came her reply.

Leo fought to clamp down on the anger still coursing through him in favour of pursuing the story and finding out more about the miserable tale.

“Continue.” Was all he said.

Nodding, his ex-wife began to speak again. “So, Jo was his. I had to tell him, and when I did, he flipped out. Said that he had a right to know, and that I should have divorced you earlier. He was mad that he hadn’t been there when she……” Jocelyn had to take a few breaths.

“Anyway. We were at his place, and he got mad, and he hit me. He was mad, and he let out his anger on me.” Jocelyn stated the happenings in a matter of fact manner, and then looked at Leo, her face crumpling.

“I know we haven’t got on well for years, but, I just need a friend.”

Leo felt for her, truly. Nodding, he moved closer to sit next to her and wrapped his arms around her.

Jocelyn leaned into her old best friend and closed her eyes as she began to shake.

“He was just.. So angry…” Jocelyn whispered. Leo clutched her tighter, running one hand through her long locks, soothing her.

“Shhh, hey, it’s ok. He’s not here anymore. I’m here.” Leo whispered into his friend’s ear. He had never been able to stand it when Jocelyn was scared or sad. His instinct was to always comfort her, make her feel safe. It had been that way for as long as he could remember, and seven years apart couldn’t stop it.

As Jocelyn began to calm, she took a few deep breaths to regain her composure.

“I couldn’t stand being hit, so I left and came back here. I had a few days to think and just distance myself from everyone. When I commed you, I wanted to ask. Would you reconsider repairing our relationship?”

“Yeah. But baby steps. We can’t throw ourselves into romance like last time. You were still hung up on Clay, I was too focused on work.” Leo desperately wanted to have his best friend again, he wanted the old days back.

Jocelyn nodded, and turned her head to face Leo. She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek, before resting her forehead on his shoulder.

Leo smiled, then looked outside to watch the rain outside the window fall lightly.

 


	2. Alternate Ending Version

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because my friends were begging me to make it a sad ending. TBH, I don't like the old ending either.

Meet Me in the Pouring Rain

~ Christmas 2251

Leo slammed the door behind him angrily as his mother yelled some nonsense about relationships at his retreating back.

“Stupid old hag.” He muttered as he jumped down the porch steps and looked up at the clouded sky.

He had only been back two days, and his mother was already bugging him about getting a girlfriend. Between med-school, three side jobs and a litany of idiotic friends getting into trouble, he didn’t have time for dating. Maybe he would have been able to have more of a dating life if his mother didn’t insist he come back home to dreary old Savannah, where everyone knew everyone, for the holidays.

Lost in his internal ramblings of annoyance at the situation, he barely noticed where he was going. By the time he looked up, he realised he had walked to the stables behind the house. Feeling a little bit better at the sight of his horse, he approached her.

“Hey Lassie, how are you today?” Leo crooned in his soft drawl at the chestnut coloured mare. In reply, he got an annoyed whinny.

Leo ran a soothing hand down the horse’s back, and set about feeding her. As he fetched a pail of oats from the back of the stable, he began to ramble to his horse, who had been a constant in his life from when they were both young.

“Honestly, Lassie, you’re much luckier than me. You’re not a working horse, you don’t need to find a mate and breed with them, and you don’t need to worry about an overbearing family. I mean, if I want to focus on getting my degree before I turn 25 instead of going to quote find myself a nice southern belle to settle down with unquote, what’s it to her? If she wants grandchildren, he’s just gotta suck it up and wait. This is my life, Lassie, not hers.”

A dainty giggle came from the doorway.

“I see that Eleanora’s Christmas present was a lecture on love.” Jocelyn Darnell, his best friend and unrequited crush was leaning against the wood structure relaxedly with a smirk on her face. Leo’s breath caught on the way the dim lighting in the barn highlighted the sharp cheekbones and chocolate brown hair of the girl.

Leo had to admit, she was mostly the reason why he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend anytime soon. Jocelyn and Leo had grown up together, had braved through the hell that the government called school, and had stuck together until university. They had parted when Leo decided to go into medical school, and Jocelyn went on to further her career in interior design.

Jocelyn, at some point in his life, had become the object of his affections, but would never reciprocate them. Clay Treadway had made that fact painfully clear at their high school graduation when he pulled Jocelyn in for a kiss. What made everything worse, was that Clay was a genuinely nice person, and was extremely difficult to hate. Since it had been roughly 6 years since his hopes were crushed, and Clay and Jocelyn remained in a steady relationship for that long, Leo had decided that he would remain a bachelor for the rest of his life.

Jocelyn smiled and walked over to Leo, grabbed the pail in his hands and proceeded to situate herself in front of Lassie, the best place to feed her from.

“Merry Christmas to you too.” Leo replied gruffly.

He walked over to Lassie and Jocelyn, and began to feed the horse with the oats still in Jocelyn’s hands.

“How’s your life been?” Leo queried.

With a suddenly melancholy look in her eyes, Jocelyn shrugged.

“Clay and I broke up last month. “

Hope and hurt rose simultaneously in Leo. Hope, for then perhaps he would have a chance with the beautiful girl. Hurt, that she hadn’t told him at the time, that he wasn’t there for her when she went through the break up, and that she apparently didn’t care to enlighten him of the situation.

“You didn’t tell me!” He cried.

At that, Jocelyn looked up from feeding Lassie. She glanced at Leo with an unusual nervousness.

“I wanted to tell you in person.”

At the unusual statement, Leo frowned. He didn’t understand why she would have wanted to break the news face to face, unless there was also something else she wanted to tell him. Perhaps she was pregnant, which would be a legal nightmare, not to mention emotionally devastating for himself. If she indeed was carrying Clay’s child, she would probably have to remain in contact with the bastard.

Jocelyn saw the look on Leo’s face, and laughed.

“I know what you’re thinking Leo. I’m not pregnant. I just,” At this, she hesitated. Taking a deep breath, she continued. “Clay broke up with me because I’m in love with you.”

Leo nearly stopped breathing when he heard what Jocelyn had said. She was in love with him? Had he heard right?

Jocelyn looked at Leo again, and stepped forward slowly. Looking him straight in the eye, she reached out to cup his face in her soft hands.

“Tell me you don’t love me too. I’ll walk away.” She whispered.

Heart racing, Leo leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. They moved together, fluid, and gentle. Jocelyn ran her fingers through Leo’s short hair, and pulled him closer. Overwhelmed, Leo pulled back.

“Why me, though?” He questioned. Jocelyn smiled fondly at him, and kissed him briefly.

“What’s not to love? You’re kind, compassionate, intelligent, and most of all, you care. You’re one of the most empathetic people I know. It’s why being a doctor is perfect for you. Your natural instinct is to help people, and I love you for it.”

Leo blushed. He had never been one to take compliments, and quite frankly, was not the most confident of people when he wasn’t completely sure of what he was doing.

“Thank you, Joce.” He whispered into her hair, as they held each other, looking out at the rain that had started to fall when they were otherwise occupied.

 

 

~ October 2252

Leo ran from his hovercar, holding his coat over his head to shield him from the rain pouring down on him. He had emerged from the General Hospital of Atlanta after an 11 hour shift, just to see the rain pelting the street. Across the street, his destination shone brightly, mocking him with it’s warmth and dryness.

As he approached the doorway of the restaurant, he looked up at the large sign showing of the shining name; Clara. Reviews of the restaurant had said that it was the best restaurant for a romantic date, and quite honestly, he could see why. The whole place had a soft glow to it, an atmosphere of love, and joy. He ducked into the building, and approached the maître d’. The man smiled, and welcomed him to the restaurant.

“Good Evening, Sir. Do you have a reservation?”

Leo cleared his throat nervously, and stammered. “Uh. Yes, I have a reservation for two under the name McCoy.”

The maître d’ smiled graciously, and led him to his table, where he waited for Jocelyn to arrive. Leo palmed the small box in his pocket anxiously, hoping that all would go well for him tonight. He had been planning this night for some time, so when Jocelyn had commed him earlier to say that she would be a little late because of complications at work, he had been worried.

Leo shook his head to dispel all negative thoughts, and looked towards the doorway for any sign of Jocelyn. Soon after, the door opened to a beautiful sight. Jocelyn Darnell, in all her beauty, was wearing a stunning backless black dress that highlighted all her curves in just the right ways. As she caught sight of Leo and started to walk towards their table, he saw many a man and woman stare at her in awe. It was obvious of her beauty, and a wave of jealousy rose in Leo. Nobody was allowed to look at Joce like that but him. Jocelyn neared the table, and instinctively, he rose out of his seat and pulled hers out for her.

“Why thank you, Leo.” Jocelyn smiled.

Leo smiled back at her adoringly. She merely smirked when she saw the expression on his face.

“Babe, I know you love me, but I’d really like to eat now.” Jocelyn quirked her lips into a grin as she perused the menu.

Leo shook himself out of his love struck stupor, and blushed. He raised his hand to signal for a waiter, who proceeded to take their orders. As they waited for their food to arrive, Jocelyn raised her head to take in the surroundings.

“Wow Leo, candlelit dinners. You sure know how to charm a girl.” She remarked.

“What can I say, I’m a romantic at heart.”

“Sure you are.” Joce replied sarcastically. “You deliberately picked a restaurant you knew I had been wanting to try, even though you think it’s clichéd. You’re too good to me Leo.”

At that, the man in question ducked his head, and blushed even more furiously than before. He had only been trying to make the night the perfect for Jocelyn. He raised his head, and said as much to his girlfriend.

The waiter returned with plates filled with their respective orders; mushroom and black truffle soup for Leo, and spaghetti carbonara for Jocelyn. Seeing the food, they both tucked into their meals heartily, informing each other of the events of their day between bites. When they had both finished eating, Leo smoothed a hand over the lapels of his blazer and took a deep breath. While Jocelyn glanced out the window at the rain, Leo reached into his pocket and pulled out the box with the engagement ring in it. Now or never, Leo, Now or never.

Leo abruptly stood up out of his chair, and sank down onto one knee in front of their table, facing Jocelyn. She gasped, and held a hand to her mouth.

“Jocelyn Marie Darnell, you are the light of my life. You’ve stuck with me since the first day of kindergarten, when I was scared out of my mind at the prospect of starting school and I threw up all over the playground. You stood by me when Isaac Ellis punched me for caring about the dog with a broken leg we found on the roadside. You stayed when everyone accused me of murdering my father. Now, I ask of you. Will you be with me forever, until death do us part? Will you marry me?”

Jocelyn had tears streaming down her face, and Leo was seriously reconsidering this. Did she hate him for making a public scene? He remained on his knee, awaiting an answer.

Through her tears, Jocelyn nodded.

“Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.” She sobbed through her tears.

“Why are you crying, babe?” Leo asked cautiously, although he was over the moon about her answer.

Jocelyn laughed, and tugged him up of his knee and took his hand.

“I’m crying because I’m happy, and I love you, you great big sap. Now aren’t you going to put that shiny diamond on my finger?”

Leo leaned down to kiss her lips gently, and pulled back. He lifted the ring out of the box gently and slid it onto Jocelyn’s ring finger. He pulled her up by the hand, and dragged her out of her seat, his other hand reaching for the bill.

“Come on, let’s go home and celebrate.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her, and she laughed wholeheartedly at his antics as they walked out of the restaurant into the pouring rain.

~January 2255

Jocelyn inhaled sharply again, and took several heaving breaths. She looked down at her swollen belly, and lifted her shaking hand to place it over the bulge.

“Hey, baby girl. I hope you come out safely for mommy. You’re a feisty one. I can tell.” She sighed, then glanced at the chrono to check how long she had been in labour for. Three hours so far. Jocelyn turned her head to look out the window at the light sprinkling of rain that had started. She was starting to get a little frustrated at her husband, who had yet to arrive. When her contractions had first started, she immediately called Leo, just as he had instructed. He had been in surgery, so she left a message for him with one of the nurses. When Jocelyn proceeded to call an ambulance, they had escorted her to a hospital. The doctors in the emergency room transferred her to the maternity ward, where she had stripped down and changed into a hospital gown. Unknowingly, she had left her communicator back at home, and had also forgotten to inform Leo of her location.

Leo sighed, as he exited the third hospital of the night. After he got out of surgery, he had received Jocelyn’s message about their baby. He had responded with a message that he’d be there as soon as he could. What he hadn’t realised, is that Jocelyn had been brought to a different hospital. He had repeatedly tried to comm his wife, but to no avail. She didn’t pick up. Leo got into his hovercar, and input the fastest route to the last hospital in the area. As his car sped along the roads, Leo let himself fantasise. What would it be like to finally hold his baby girl, to see small eyes looking up at him in wonder? The thought of the child’s eyes had him wondering whether she would have the classic McCoy hazel eyes, or Jocelyn’s deep amber coloured eyes. He chuckled at himself, and shook his head. No matter what she looked like, Leo would love her.

Leo’s hovercar came to a stop outside the Royal Hospital of Atlanta. He climbed out of the car and ran to the front entrance. As he approached the font counter, the young nurse sat their looked up.

“Hello, this is the Royal Hospital of Atlanta, how may I help you?” She drawled in a bored tone.

Anxious to see his wife and as of yet unborn child, his words were rushed. “Is there a Jocelyn McCoy here? She was in labour when she last contacted me.”

“Ah, yes. Jocelyn McCoy was admitted to room 301C a few hours ago, under observation. She has been in labour for approximately 3 hours…..”The receptionist droned on, but McCoy ignored her.

Leo turned around to look at the directory. The maternity ward was on the third floor, rooms 301 to 382. He spotted the turbolift at the end of the corridor and ran hurriedly towards it. He pressed the up button, and luckily, the doors opened almost instantly. Leo walked into the lift, and found the button for the third floor. He steeled himself, anticipating the unsteady and nauseous feeling the lift gave him when it sped up. Leo’s head spun, and he vaguely noticed a faint ding signalling the end of the short trip. The doors slid open, and Leo stepped out, the clinical and sterilised smell grounding him.

A sign pointed to the left told Leo that rooms 301 to 340 were in that direction. He turned to the left, and a cursory glance told him that room 301 was at the end of the hall. Trying not to run, Leo walked quickly to the rooms at the end of the corridor. He spotted the room his wife was in, and opened the door.

Jocelyn looked up when Leo entered the room, and she attempted to morph her face into a smile despite the constant pain erupting from her uterus.

Leo easily saw through the façade as a result of being around moronic patients who loved to self-diagnose. “Sugar, what’s wrong?” he asked warily.

At that, his wife snorted. “I’m just getting my contractions.”

Smiling through sparkling eyes, Leo reached out to clasp Jocelyn’s hand. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner. I was in surgery.”

Jocelyn waved a hand, dismissing his apology. “It’s ok. I forgot to tell you which hospital I was at, and I left my comm at home by accident.” She explained, knowing that her husband had probably tried to contact her multiple times once he had received her message. He was sort of overbearing like that.

Suddenly, Jocelyn gasped in pain. There was a flare of fire in her groin area, and suddenly she was bleeding.

When Leo spotted the blood, he knew what was happening. Jocelyn could potentially lose their child. He slammed on the call button for the doctor in the next room, and began to ask Jocelyn to catalogue her pain.

“Baby, what’s the pain on a scale of 1 to 10? Where exactly is the pain?”

Jocelyn gasped, and just shook her head, unable to speak. The pain was overwhelming, and it came over her like a tide on a sea shore. She looked down, and saw blood all over her front. Head swimming, everything went dark.

While the doctors came in, Leo pushed down lightly on a lever of the bio-bed his wife was on, and the bed shifted slowly from a reclining position to lay flat so that the doctors would have better access. He stood back, and watched them bring in an array of tools for an emergency caesarean section. Leo couldn’t do anything to help the surgery, as he wasn’t a doctor at the hospital they were in, and the doctors currently operating on his wife had more experience with pregnancies. He exited the room, allowing them to work in peace.

Leaning his head on the wall outside his wife’s room, Leo took several deep breaths, and clenched his fists tightly. He knew the enormity of the situation, that he could lose either his child or his wife, or even both in the worst case scenario. Try as he might, but he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if Jocelyn didn’t make it. She was the one person who saw who he really was, and if she died, Leo would surely become someone he definitely would not want to be. Eyes blurring with tears of desperation, Leonard McCoy sank down to the ground and curled into a foetal position, barely holding himself together.

Jocelyn blinked, and instinctively reached down to check on her baby. Alarmed when her hand missed where her baby bump usually was, Jocelyn sat up. Looking down, she cried out in alarm when she saw and felt nothing in her abdomen. She looked around the room for clues that might tell her where she was, and what happened to her baby. Her eyes fell on her husband sitting at her side, dozing softly. She touched his shoulder lightly, and he jerked awake.

Leonard opened his eyes, and saw his wife sitting up. An empty and hollow feeling settled in him as he was once again reminded by his brain that his child was gone.

“Hey Joce. You should be resting.” He whispered.

Jocelyn looked at him with wide eyes, and opened her mouth and closed it several times.

“Where’s my baby?” She queried in a voice that made her seem small.

Just shaking his head, Leo looked at his wife brokenly.

“She’s gone.” His voice cracked. “There was a complication with the umbilical cord, and...” Leo’s voiced trailed off.

“They couldn’t save her.” Jocelyn finished for him.

Looking at each other, the broken couple just held on to each other, and silently promised to never let go.

~June 2255

“What the fuck are you doing?” Leo shouted.

He had just come home after a 36 hour shift to find Clay Treadway and Jocelyn, for lack of a better word, fucking.

Leo admitted, perhaps after he death of their child, Jocelyn had been distant, and wouldn’t touch him. He should have tried harder to communicate with Jocelyn, should have talked about the distance between them. Except he was dealing with his own grief. He had thrown himself into his work at the hospital, and had begun to take longer and longer shifts. The loss of his little girl had made Leo see so clearly the fragility of life. That was why he worked even harder, because maybe he could save someone else’s little girl, so they wouldn’t have to go through the pain and heartbreak. He just didn’t account for the fact that Jocelyn was heartbroken too.

He may take the blame for the failure of their relationship, but he couldn’t understand why she had to go to Clay Treadway, of all people. They had dated before Leo and Jocelyn got together, but Jocelyn was the one who broke it off with Clay. It just didn’t make sense. Unless, he just wasn’t enough. Maybe he had never been enough. Leo began to panic, thinking back to all the ways he hadn’t been a good enough partner for his wife, even before his little girl died.

At Leo’s words, Clay started. He scrambled for a sheet to cover himself and Jocelyn with, but to no avail. Jocelyn managed to find a shirt, and covered her chest. At that, Leo stared incredulously at her. They had been together for years, and she was self-conscious now?

“Leo,” Jocelyn started to explain.

“No, I don’t want to hear it.” Leo shook his head, and started to pack a bag. Jocelyn clearly didn’t love him anymore, she already had another man.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” She whispered softly, sounding melancholy.

Leo was furious. What right did she have to be sad about this when she was the one who was doing this to him? He turned his head to look at her, his hurt, anger and complete and utter devastation showing on his face.

The room was silent, and the pattering of rain could be heard outside.

Clay sat awkwardly on the side of the bed, Leo’s bed, and watched the proceedings with a carefully blank face.

Addressing the man in question, Leo looked at him. “Take care of her. Don’t let her hurt you.”

With his most important belongings packed up in a bag, Leo walked towards the door. He finally addressed Jocelyn.

“I’d like to divorce. You can take the house, the car, everything.”

Leo turned, walked out the door slowly into the rain, and made his way to the nearest motel with his head down. He went through the motions mechanically, and took a room for a week. As he walked to the turbolift, the last half-hour played in his head again, and again. He shook his head in despair, and managed to fish out his communicator. He dialled the number at his mother’s old house in Savannah, and waited.

“Leo?” His mother picked up the call.

“Hey, ma. Joce and I, uh, we’re getting a divorce.”

“What? Honey, what happened? Do you need me to come over to Atlanta?”

“No, uh. I caught Joce with Clay. In bed.” Leo’s voice broke slightly, and he sighed.

“Oh, sweetie. Come over to the old house.”

“No, ma. I need to sort out some things here, then I’ll head west.”

“West? Why?”

“Before I got home, there was an offer from Starfleet for me to become a Cadet, and work in the clinic there. I can’t stay here, and well, I’m hoping Starfleet will take me as far away from here as it can.”

“Leo, honey. Running isn’t always the wisest decision.”

“I know, ma, but I have to.”

Eleanora sighed. “Alright, baby. If you need to, then go. Keep in touch though. I wish you would let me come over.”

“Ma, please don’t.” He couldn’t handle having his mother there, seeing him in the mess that had become his life.

“Ok. Call if you need me though.” The call cut off with a beep.

Leo ran his hands through his hair. Talking with his mother had helped, if only a little. He stood, and approached the small fridge in the corner of the dingy motel room. He opened the door in hopes of finding some alcohol, and he had hit the jackpot. Well, thank god for small favours, right? He pulled out the bottle of Andorian whiskey, and opened the bottle. Leo took a swig straight from the bottle, and winced as the liquid burned down his throat. He took another mouthful of the drink, and kept drinking. The alcohol numbed the constant ache of betrayal in his chest, the sharp pain of not being enough whenever he thought about what happened. No, being sober was not worth the pain.

~ January 2262

Leo sighed, and looked down at his comm. Jocelyn had sent a message to him saying that she and Clay had broken up, and that she wanted to explain properly. After seven years in Starfleet, he had begun to feel more attached to the organisation, and decided to even go up into space for a three year mission. Of course, he didn’t sign up for a starship because of the constant fear he had of dying in a spacecraft. No, he had requested to be posted on a Starfleet outpost on Mars, which he quickly became Chief Medical Officer of, so that he could still contact his family. The years away from Jocelyn had dulled the pain, and Leo knew that maybe, if he visited Georgia, he would get a more clear explanation than “I’m sorry.”

Over the several days he had left on Mars before his mission ended, he took the time to reach a decision on whether he would speak to his ex. Sure, things had ended badly, but it had been seven years. Maybe they could get over their differences and perhaps be friends again, at the least. At the end of mission party that the outpost’s inhabitants threw for everyone who would be leaving, Leo pulled out his comm to reply that he would be visiting Georgia soon, including his travel details, and that they should set a time and date to meet. When he had pressed send, he had felt like a teenager again, wondering whether Joce would like him.

A hand on his shoulder made him look up.

“Hiya Leo.” Greeted one of his fellow doctors, Phillip Boyce.

“Hey, Phil.” He replied.

“So, what are you gonna do once we’re back on Earth? Are you going to come back out here?”

Leo shrugged, as he honestly had no clue. “I’m not sure yet. I’m going to go back home to Georgia for a while before I make a decision.”

Nodding, Phil clapped a hand on Leo’s back. “Alright then, I’m going to go get a drink.”

The first thing Leo noticed when he stepped off the transporter pad the next morning was that the air smelt fresher. Then, he proceeded to vomit out his guts off the side of the pad, because transporter pads always made Leo sick, no matter how used to it he was.

His next order of business was to comm his mother to inform her of his arrival in Atlanta. After establishing that she would come pick him up from the transporter facility.

As he waited for his mother, he sat in the waiting room near the front of the building. Lightly tossing his bag down on the ground beside him, he leaned his head in his hands, fighting off the residual nausea. A cry of his name made him raise his head and look up.

“Leo, baby, let me look at you!” His mother had already arrived.

Standing to give his mother a hug, he opened his arms. “Hey Ma. I've missed you.”

Leo meant it. His mother was one of the people who stood by him when the hospital brought him under observation because they thought he had tampered with his dying father’s morphine drip to deliver a fatal dose. In fact, it had not been Leo, but rather, his father himself. David McCoy, in his last days, had been in immense pain. When the pain had been too much to bear, Leo was asked by his daddy to essentially, murder him. The following days, Leo had been warring between just ending the pain, or leaving his father alive, but only a shadow of the man he once was. Instead of waiting for Leo to decide, David decided to use his remaining energy to reach his morphine drip and input an excessive amount for the next automatic dose. In the aftermath, Leo and his mother had spent more time together, both mourning the loss of a great man.

Eleanora patting his back brought Leo out of his reverie. He withdrew from the embrace, and followed his mother out to where she had parked her hovercar. They climbed into the vehicle, the older woman at the wheel. The drive back to Eleanora’s house was spent catching up on the happenings of their lives. Leo informed his mother of the developments made at the research outpost he had been on, and in turn, Eleanora filled in her son on the local gossip, whether they had any new neighbours and the like. Both of them avidly avoided mention of both Jocelyn and Clay.

Knowing the topic would be breached sooner or later, Leo started.

“Ma. Uh, I'm nots sure if you know, but Clay and Jocelyn broke up.”

Saying it out loud had given Leo a strange feeling of finality of the words.

“Oh, Leo. We all knew. I just wasn't sure Jocelyn told you so I didn't mention it.”

Leo flushed at the thought that Jocelyn had chosen to inform him personally.

“Yeah. She wants to talk to me soon.”

Leo was still waiting for a reply from his ex wife. To be quite honest, he had been checking his comm every few minutes, like a child waiting for Christmas.His comm chirped, signalling a new message. Leo looked down to see who it was from.

“Speak of the devil.”

He swiped at the device to view the message. Jocelyn had replied with a friendly welcome back message, and an apology for not replying sooner. Underneath, she had tentatively suggested that if he wasn't too tired, maybe he could visit Jocelyn at their old house where she was still living.

Hastily replying in the affirmative, Leo’s insides were a jumble of nerves. Sensing his discomfort, Eleanora spoke up.

“Would you like me to drop you off there?”

Leo blushed, knowing that his mother had read his messages over his shoulder. As they had already arrived at his mothers house, the point was moot.

“No, I wouldn't want to trouble you. I'll just drop my things in my room and head over there myself.”

Eleanora hummed in the affirmative as she opened the car door. Leo followed suit, tromping up the porch steps to the old farmhouse with architecture reminiscent of the 20th century. He opened the front door for his mother, and shut the door behind him when they had both entered the house. Although the house looked old, and the interior was similar, the building had all the latest technological improvements.

As Eleanora walked to the kitchen to start preparing lunch, Leo took his bags to his childhood room. Dropping a bag on the floor, Leo looked around his room. Nothing about it had changed much, except that the bedsheets were new. His gaze landed on a framed holo on his bedside table. The image was of him and Jocelyn at their high school graduation, arms around each other happily. His heart clenched at the sight, mourning the loss of his best friend. He now realised that when he and Joce parted, he hadn't only lost a wife, but also the most important relationship he had ever had apart from with his parents.

His resolve to talk to Jocelyn strengthened, he would try to regain her friendship, even if she didn't love him anymore. He had never had any reason to doubt their friendship, so there would be a chance for him to repair that relationship.

Having settled his things into his room, he walked back to the kitchen to inform his mother when he would be back.

“Ma, I'm going over to Joce’s. I'll be back around one or midday.” He kissed her cheek in farewell, and walked out the door. As driving to Savannah would only take around half an hour due to improvements in technology, Leo spent the short drive pondering the reasons behind Joce’s wish to speak so soon.

The most likely reason was that she wanted them to reconcile. Leo thought, for a moment, about what that would be like. They would have their old friendship back, sarcastic banter, occasional philosophical conversations, musing about the intricacies of life. Leo ached for what had been lost, amidst too soon relationships and the shit life threw at them.

As he pulled into the garage of his old home, Leo noticed the differences. His old football gear was no longer sitting in the corner, the shelves were all new, his box set of 3D chess had disappeared, and the place contained a shiny new red hovercar. Leo had been erased from Joce’s life, and he could understand that. He himself had gotten rid of his wedding photos, shirts and shoes bought for him that had been sent to his mother. No matter the past, there was hope for the future. 

Pulling the key out of the ignition, Leo opened the door of his hovercar and stepped into the small garage. He walked through the side door that led into the house to avoid going out into the rain, and started seeking out his ex wife. Her regular haunts had always been places with windows, so she would be able to see the sky. Mentally running through a list of rooms with large windows in the house, Leo visited the closest one, the reading room. He poked his head in the doorway briefly, and continued to enter the room when he saw Jocelyn curled up sleeping in her armchair by the window.

He gently shook her shoulders, and pulled back abruptly as she flinched and opened her eyes.

“Hey, Joce.” He whispered as her gaze raked across the whole room and landed on him.

“Wha-Oh, Leo. Sorry, I fell asleep for a while.” She explained.

“It’s alright. I imagine you’ve had a tough time.” Leo replied, referring to her recent break-up with Clay. He wasn’t heartless, and he could understand the pain of separation.

Jocelyn gave a small smile, and looked into her lap.

“I suppose you’ll want to know why you’re here.”

“Well, yeah. If you’d care to enlighten me.”

“Alright. You know that Clay and I broke up. Uh, I’ll suppose I’ll start there. The day it happened, I found out that Joanna was his.”

A flash of ice ran through Leo’s veins. Joanna… His baby girl… Wasn’t his? That would mean…

“You were sleeping with him even then?” Leo cried in outrage.

“Well. Yes. And I’m sorry for it. You may not forgive me still, but it’s the truth. I made mistakes.” Came her reply.

“And this is why you wanted me to come and talk to you? Just so you could tell me my baby….” Leo choked on his words. 

Joanna wasn’t his baby. Not his flesh and blood. He had been so in love with the idea of him and Jocelyn, a white picket fence family until it all went to shit. But it had never been like that. The love story had been always Jocelyn and Clay, from day one. His whole relationship had been a lie, from the very beginning. Leo felt hollow inside.

“Then why did you tell me you loved me that first Christmas? Why did you lead me on? You must have known how in love I was.”

Jocelyn looked up at him sadly. “Because I had just been dumped. I told you I dumped Clay so that you would just let me drown myself in you, the illusion of being happy and in love with you helped me deal with the shock. Then, the first year, Clay came and begged for me to take him back, and.. I just… I caved.” 

Leo stared numbly at her. The blood was rushing through his ears, like all he had inside him was anger, hurt, and betrayal. Clenching his fists tightly, Leo turned and just walked towards the door.

“Leo.. I’m sorry. I just felt so guilty, I had to tell you.” Jocelyn looked at him with a melancholy look in her eyes. 

“Have a nice life, Joce.” 

Leo walked out the front door, and looked up at the sunny sky. Spotting a rainbow, he smiled. Jocelyn Darnell would no longer be a part of his life.


End file.
